I haven’t written on this blog in a while, partly because I first started the blog to document my journey of motherhood but I hadn’t yet started on the journey. I just felt that it didn’t fit my identity at the time since I wasn’t yet a mother. But I’m back in the swing of things and am officially declaring that I have started my journey towards becoming a mother.

Last month was the first month that I tried to get pregnant. Well, it’s not the first time in my life, but it’s the first time in my adult life. When I was in high school, I stupidly tried to get pregnant from my boyfriend a couple of times when I was a junior and senior. Thank goodness that didn’t work out, because I would have been stuck with an abusive drug addict!

I have dragged my feet for years over motherhood because I have been waiting for that perfect time when I am oh so sure that I am ready to be a mother. I was raised by an abusive mother and I was scared to death of being like her. I was also raised by a single mother, and all these years I have not wanted to have children because I wanted to wait until I was absolutely sure that I would be able to raise them on my own.

Lately I have been realizing that there is never going to be a perfect time to have children. I have finally realized that I am not my mother and that fortunately I think that I am going to break the cycle of the long line of abuse in my family. But I’ve been waiting for that perfect time-when I am not having stress, when I finally lose that pesky amount of weight, or the plethora of other reasons that I can cook up in my head as a reason why I am not yet ready. But now I know that the perfect time is never going to come.

Last month I randomly mentioned to my boyfriend that I wanted to try to get pregnant on Valentine’s Day. “Wouldn’t that be just so cool?” I justified to him. “How many people can say that they got pregnant on Valentine’s Day?” Although I suspected that I was slightly past my ovulation date, we decided to have sex on that day alone to see if we would get pregnant. Well, we didn’t.

I wasn’t fully prepared for the disappointment that I felt when I started my period this month. All along I sort of knew that I wasn’t going to get pregnant from just trying on that one day that was probably after my ovulation day. I didn’t expect to feel paranoid, feeling fearful that I have waited too long to have a child. After all, I am almost 37, I reasoned in my head. What if all of my eggs ran out?

It doesn’t help much that whenever I look online or in books that it smacks me in the face that it is harder to get pregnant after 35. All month long I felt paranoid that I missed my window. But the great news is that now it has strengthened my resolve that I now know that it is time and that I need to start trying to conceive now so that I DON’T miss my window.

This month I randomly asked my boyfriend if we could try again. I tried to have a sex on one day, and unfortunately my boyfriend had a little performance anxiety so we were unable to fully complete the act. The next two days were successful, although it started to feel like a chore in some weird way. We took a two day break and then tried again today, although I suspect that I may have already ovulated. The ovulation kit that I bought sure hasn’t helped any because it is very difficult to read and apparently it seems like I have been ovulating all month long. What a chore!

I’m excited about the possibility, but I am also fearful that I have waited too long. It’s frustrating to me because everywhere I look I am taught that I am too old to be a mother. It sure doesn’t help either that I just received a Facebook invitation to my 20 year high school reunion, and everyone and their mother has four or five kids while I am just thinking about starting a family. I am going to document my journey and hopefully it will be helpful to anyone who is the same boat as me as they are trying to get pregnant in their late 30s.

Wish me luck!

Today I was on twitter and I saw a tweet with the “Not buying it” campaign, a campaign that aims to boycott products that aren’t positive role models for girls and women. The particular tweet was about a Hello Kitty commercial of Sephora makeup, but first I’d like to share some background about why the commercial is so problematic to me:

Over the past year since sharing custody of my six year old niece with my boyfriend’s brother, I have been battling with raising my niece to be a strong, confident girl. Her confidence has already been beat down by having two parents in prison as well as missing a significant amount of her kindergarten and first grade schooling. About five months ago she told me that she was dumb. The teachers that I have placed her with (and then removed her from) have also done little to increase her confidence, being very harsh and seeming to lack any consideration of her educational and psychological issues. She’s been progressing very slowly and is over two years behind in her educational level.

I’ve tried everything in my power to make learning to be “cool” and fun to her. It’s a hard feat to accomplish with a child that previously had no boundaries or structures. At the age of six, she already knows that her mother used to easily make a quick buck by selling drugs in front of her. She knows that her mother lived a pretty great life for a while, although her mother didn’t even finish junior high. I’ve been working nonstop over the past year to help her understand how powerful education and learning can be.

Today I was on twitter, and I saw a tweet about Hello Kitty. My niece’s birthday is coming up this month, so I clicked to see the latest products of Hello Kitty that I might get for her birthday. But lo and behold, I came upon a video of a Hello Kitty Sephora product that I find to be so appalling that I feel like restricting my niece’s television so that she will never see it. I’m fighting enough of a battle to help get my niece back on track educationally, and I don’t want anything to derail it. I most certainly don’t need her viewing any commercials that insinuate that it’s more fun or cute to be pretty than to read and study. Here’s the video:

There will be no Sephora products in my house in the near future because I’m #notbuyingit. In fact, I’ve decided to have her watch the video tonight and tell her just why we will be boycotting Sephora. I’m going to tell her that she is too smart to have something that insinuates that learning and studying is less important than makeup. In our house we value learning, studying and school more importantly than anything. We’re not buying it!!

Last Friday I took my six year old niece to see Disney and Pixar’s new movie Brave, a movie about a brave young princess. My niece has princess-mania and ever since we took custody of her a year ago, it’s been an uphill battle to provide alternative perspectives of strong female protagonists who aren’t waiting around to be saved by a prince. I decided to take her to see Brave and crossed my fingers that I wouldn’t be disappointed.

The movie begins with Merida, a young princess, who loves archery and riding horses through the woods. Merida’s mother constantly follows her around, informing her of what princesses should or shouldn’t do, and criticizing Merida for her “unprincesslike” behavior. One day Merida’s mother decides to marry her off to one of three young men that Merida does not want to marry. Merida runs off into the woods and encounters a witch that casts a spell on Merida’s mother, turning her into a bear. Merida eventually breaks the spell by healing the mother-daughter bond between herself and her mother. Merida is finally allowed to break tradition and isn’t forced to marry one of the young men.

Towards the beginning of the movie, I initially had a lot of reservations. I personally didn’t like the fact that Merida was going to be married off at such a young age. I thought to myself, “Marriage is constantly shoved down the throats of girls as soon as they are born. Can we please watch a movie for once that doesn’t have to do with marriage?” At one point in the movie, Merida’s mother became very angry at Merida’s refusal to marry one of the three young men. I turned to my niece and asked why Merida’s mother was angry, but luckily it went over my niece’s head.

Another part of the movie that I didn’t particularly care for was the sexual innuendo throughout the movie. There is one part of the movie where some characters run off and show their bare butts. There are also a few subtle jokes that I thought were a little inappropriate-I understand that they are for adults, but can we please have a kid’s movie for once that doesn’t have sex jokes for adults?? However, the innuendos are so subtle and brief that I have already forgotten all of them and they definitely went over my niece’s head.

As the movie progressed, it began to grow on me-despite the marriage part. One thing that I related to as an unconventional women myself was the constant criticism from Merida’s mother that her behavior was “unprincesslike”. Certainly most women who have broken gender conventions have heard about the unladylike behavior that they commit. Many of us have been criticized or punished for being tomboys or possessing characteristics or behaviors that are normally attributed to males. I was ecstatic that this issue was addressed in the movie, although I wish that towards the end that Merida would have been praised for what she was initially criticized for, and that this topic would have been made more visible in the movie.

Towards the end of the movie, Merida is the brave young girl who saves the day. She breaks the spell that had turned her mother into a bear and saved others from being attacked by another large bear that she killed off. Merida bravely declares that she will not marry one of the three young men, and that everyone should have the freedom to marry whoever they choose. It was a breath of fresh air to see an alternative princess archetype to be portrayed in a movie for children.

In the car on the ride home, I asked my niece what she thought was the message or lesson that the movie was trying to teach. Surely I thought that with all the discussions that I have been having with her lately, that she might say something like, “Be happy with who you are” or “Girls can be brave too” or “You are in charge of your own destiny”. But instead she said, “Don’t get mad at your mom and turn her into a bear”. For the past few days I’ve been having a few follow-up discussions with my niece with a feminist twist, such as:

• We discussed the fact that Merida was too young to be married and that Merida’s mother wanted her to marry whoever she chose. We talked about marriage being a choice versus forced marriage, and also discussed the fact that women don’t ever have to be married if they don’t want to.
• We talked about Merida’s mother’s proclamations that she wasn’t acting like a princess. I asked my niece what “princess” behavior was like. We talked about other princesses that she had seen in movies and compared their behaviors to Merida’s. We talked about gender stereotypes and I asked questions such as: Is it ladylike to ride a horse? Is it ladylike to shoot bows and arrows? What does it mean to act “ladylike”? This was a very tough discussion with my niece because she has been taught that girls should be dainty and frilly and I let her know that girls can do whatever their little hearts desire.
• I asked her for explicit examples of how Merida was brave. I helped her brainstorm examples from the movie that Merida was brave because she played with bows and arrows, rode horses, played in the forest, saved her mother from being permanently turned into a bear, and other examples in the story.
• In the near future we will also be re-reading The Paperbag Princess and watching a few movies with traditional princesses so that we can compare and contrast Merida’s character, The Paperbag Princess, and traditional princess characters.

Overall I enjoyed the movie and would love to watch it again in another year or so in order to have a more in depth discussion with my niece about gender stereotypes and roles. I’m glad that I took her to see it, and wish that there were many other movies to watch like this!

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There are messages everywhere presented to girls that being a princess is the best, and only, way to be. In today’s society, with its focus on appearance, having only the finest things, and the need to be number one, it is understandable that girls are having a difficult time deciphering the messages they observe.

And why wouldn’t they? Clothing stores sell t-shirts that tell them they are “too pretty to do homework.” Other stores sell thongs to seven to ten year olds with slogans on them, such as “wink wink” or “eye candy;” one has even started selling crotchless underwear for girls within this age range. Abercrombie and Fitch, a nationally known clothing company, sold bikinis with push up tops in them designed for children as young as 5. How do young girls learn that they have worth beyond their appearance, when the inordinate amount of pressure on them to “do this” or “look like that” begins so young? And, while this pressure might have started as a teenager in the past, current research shows that girls as young as 11 are having issues with their bodies.

Parents often have the misconception that their daughters can avoid being affected by the messages they are receiving. Unfortunately, as well intentioned as this idea is, it takes an incredible amount of self-confidence and self-awareness to avoid being seduced by these messages. Advertising is incredibly powerful and impacts all of us at all ages. Expecting your daughter, at age 3, 4, or 5 to understand that life is better if you have solid values, good friends and a healthy lifestyle, in comparison to the princess lifestyle, is unrealistic. It is up to you, as a parent, to combat the pressures coming from the outside.

Of course, it isn’t solely about appearance and impaired body image, when considering Princess Syndrome. It is also important to consider the other messages that your daughter gets from the fairy tale life she creates. She may learn that she cannot be self-sufficient, and that she has to rely on a savior to make it all better. This can include friendships that are vapid and superficial, boyfriends who get to dictate to her what she can and cannot do, and a lack of internal motivation because she “expects” it all to come to her. Being a princess has its place; being a princess who is empowered to create her kingdom herself? A much better option.

So, what can a parent do to help his/her daughter create her own happily ever after? Your first instinct may be to try to shield your daughter from all potentially negative influences. Unfortunately, this is virtually impossible. Rather than avoid it, teach her how to deal with the pressure, and help her to develop positive self-esteem, a realistic body-image and self-sufficiency.

As a parent, you can teach your daughter how to replace the unhealthy “princess symptoms” with positive “heroine values.” By starting young, you can set the stage for your daughter as she grows up. But where to start?

The changes start with you. As you become more aware of the messages in toys, clothing, and television shows, you can begin to share them with your daughter and teach her things that will help her create a more positive, empowered sense of herself. Below are some skills to work on developing with your daughter. It’s never too early to start.

1) Question the media: Teach your daughter to be an educated consumer and to think about the messages she receives. Start to help her formulate questions about the things she wants, why she likes certain celebrities, why appearance may be so important. Help her to develop her own ideas about what it means to be strong, independent and confident, and to seek out similar things within the media.

2) Teach her about dressing appropriately: Everywhere you turn, clothes are getting skimpier and skimpier. Skirts are getting shorter; tops are getting tighter. Similarly, clothes that used to be appropriate for teens are now being worn by fifth graders. Start early teaching your daughter about the messages she sends by the clothes she wears. You certainly are not going to get into a discussion with your five year old about what is sexy. You may, though, talk about what might be more comfortable or easy to wear when playing with her friends, and how much more fun she will have if she is comfortable. This does not mean thwarting your daughter’s individuality and sense of style. In fact, it may mean promoting it. Let her be mismatched. She’s exploring who she is, and having fun while doing it.

3) Help her find her voice: Encourage your daughter to speak up and ask questions. If she sees something she doesn’t like, a doll or a shirt with a mixed message, support her choice to talk with you about it. If she comes to you with a concern, make the time to talk with her. All too often girls avoid speaking up for fear of damaging relationships they may have. The more comfortable they feel talking with you about their feelings, and the earlier this starts, the more likely they will be able to do it as they develop into teens (which is when you really want them talking with you).

4) Remember: Conformity is not required: sometimes your daughter is going to want what other kids have, just because they have it. Giving in to this pressure is easy to do. Help guide your daughter to understand that being an individual is good. Encourage her to embrace her differences and even celebrate them! This will only help her as she grows up and develops a strong sense of herself, her likes and dislikes and in how she determines what she will or will not do.

Throughout your daughter’s development, she will be pulled in lots of directions to act, think and behave in certain ways. As her parent, it is important to use your influence to help direct her towards choosing things that will promote her ability to find her best self, and fight the allure of the princess syndrome. Getting her into some “princess recovery” might be the best way to help your daughter grow into the heroine you know she can be.

© 2011 Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD, author of Princess Recovery: A How-To Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters

About the Author: Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD, author of Princess Recovery: A How-To Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters, a child and adolescent psychologist, is a regular correspondent for The Early Show. She has also appeared on Fox News, The Today Show, and Headline News. Dr. Hartstein uses a variety of treatment approaches that promote strong self-awareness, distress tolerance, and acceptance. She lives in New York City.

It’s been a year since I first started this blog in May 2011 and I’ve had a lot of struggles with my identity over it. I first started it because I was planning on having a baby and at the time I found very few resources for mothers who were over 35. Society shoves down our throats that it’s dangerous for women to have children in their late 30s or 40s and so I wanted to document my journey, find others on a similar journey, and provide accurate information and resources for women over 35 who choose to have a child.

At the time when I started the blog, I was 3 months away from the date that I wanted to get pregnant (i.e., September 2011). At the time I primarily identified myself as being a feminist and still couldn’t imagine myself as a mother. I was and still am wrapped up in my career and my identity as an independent woman. I slowly started to blog on Femimommy, hoping that it would awake some of my motherly feelings. When the date finally came around to get pregnant, I had a major panic attack about the possibility of losing my independence and I pushed my pregnancy date back another year.

Over the past year I haven’t really blogged here much. I have struggled with what to write on this blog, because I am not a mother yet and in a way I am not even interested in some of the motherhood topics that are out there are on so many blogs. It has been hard for me to blog here, because I still haven’t fully formed my identity as being a future mother.

The truth is that I am scared to death of having a child. I have grown to be so independent and I am afraid that another little human being is going to be totally dependent on me. As I write this, it does seem a bit selfish and as if I am over exaggerating so perhaps it is time to start documenting my pregnancy prep journey here so that I can finally kickstart my life into preparing to have a child (or children).

When I was growing up, I never imagined myself as having children. It’s not something that I ever thought about as a child. I was the product of a somewhat abusive mother and I vowed that I would never continue the cycle of abuse that has existed in my family for generations. I thought that I wouldn’t have children because in my early 20s I had quite a temper and my relationship was a bit tumultuous. However, I’m finally beginning to accept the fact that I definitely have changed and am going to be able to break the cycle.

It feels weird to blog here on Femimommy when I don’t have children yet and I am not even pregnant. But please just bear with me as I work to get my butt in gear and prepare for motherhood. I fully understand that motherhood and feminism are not mutually exclusive, I hear what so many feminists say about motherhood being a feminist act, but I’m still scared to death in a strange way. For some reason, I am scared of losing my identity as a feminist. I know that my fears are irrational, and that’s why I am committing to blogging here more often so that I can move forward on my journey to motherhood.

Is there ever too young of an age for young girls to wear bikinis?? Inquiring minds want to know! I suppose that I never would have thought that it would bother me for my six year old niece to wear a bikini. But apparently it does.

On Saturday we went to the beach with friends and I took along my six year old niece. When we went to pick up friends, my niece informed me that she forgot to put on her bathing suit under her clothes. One of our friends loaned her daughter’s bathing suit for her to wear, which I later found out was a Juicy Couture bikini. At first it didn’t even bother me.

Perhaps it wasn’t the bikini so much, but the way that she acted when she wore it. She looked like she just felt oh so cute. She posed in picture after picture with her hand on her waist and her hip thrust to the side. Later when she walked in front of me I noticed that Juicy Couture was written on her butt. Seriously, is it really necessary for people to be looking at six year old girls’ butts?? I think the Juicy Couture label on the butt label is really what bothered me the most.

She’s not my child and I don’t have any children of my own. I’m questioning myself as to whether I am being a little too puritanical. I can’t even believe that I am bothered by this, because I have always been fairly open when it comes to issues about the body. My boyfriend tells me that I am overreacting, that I’m just not used to having little girls running around and Juicy Couture is just a brand name. I can’t help but just feeling uneasy about it.

What are your thoughts? Is there too young of an age for girls to wear bikinis?

It’s not new to us that a lot of kids are being bullied using the internet. Even if the internet helps us with so many things, it can be very dangerous too. It can be a new platform to ruin one’s reputation, even if the rumors aren’t real one bit.

Cyber bullying can cause a lifelong trauma to your kids. The effect wouldn’t be seen in a snap. But believe me, it will be very drastic. And in some cases, victims of cyber bullying resort to, you guess it, death.

Is your kid a victim of this harsh activity? If you are unsure, you have to read this post and understand it by heart.

Here are some of the most noticeable signs if your child is suffering from such.

a.       Refrains from using laptops or computers. – If your child was once an addict of facebook or twitter and suddenly stops, there must be something wrong. You have to take this seriously. The most crucial part of cyber bullying is the start. If you tolerate this, it would be hard for everybody. And like most unsolved cases, the victims kill themselves.

b.      Doesn’t want to leave the house. – This is a strong manifestation that he’s scared, ashamed, or embarrassed. If he’s always making excuse of not going to school, you need to probe. They believe that your home is the safest place because he’s far from ‘physical’ bullying.

c.       Avoids conversation about computers or anything related to it. – Most kids today are into computers, mobile phones and other gadgets. They can start and end the day talking about it. Not talking about it is a sign. But avoiding the topic and getting furious about it takes another level up.

What you have to do.

a.       Make sure that you monitor his computer activities. – This goes the same way for your kid’s mobile phones. I know you are invading their privacy. But if you won’t do it, all of you will have regrets. If you can buy a software that will monitor your kid’s internet and mobile phone activities, then use that. You need to know what triggers your child’s unusual behavior. You have to find the root of the problem before doing any corresponding action.

b.      Get help from the experts. – There’s nothing wrong if you will schedule an appointment with a psychologist. The problem with most people is that they don’t accept that there’s something wrong. The misconception is that when you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, you are automatically crazy. In reality, you are just seeking help from those who are capable of dealing with your challenges. If your kid isn’t open to this idea, don’t take him to the doctor’s clinic. There are doctors who allow sessions outside of the clinic. You might want to try those.

c.       Plan out of town trips.  – You should divert your kid’s attention to other things. If he is always at home, he’ll be near to computer and the internet. That’s not healthy. Of course, he won’t allow a picnic within the community. Plan something that is miles away from home. Something that will make him forget all his problems.

Take note that cyber bullying is a serious issue. It’s not just a petty fight which you can resolve easily. The whole family should be involved in fixing the situation. Make the victim feel that he’s worth it. Teach him how to fight his depression.

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In the current economic climate, being frugal is a necessity for many parents. However, children know little about how money should be used. Like any other parent, it is imperative that you be open with your children about your financial situation. This does not mean that they need to miss out on most of everything they want. However, you do need to set boundaries. Read on for some great tips on how to do so.

1. Toys
If you have small kids, toys are a necessity. To lower your kids’ desire for toys, limit their exposure to television.  Try to excite them about other things – healthy activities, educational tools & family time. Children trust you as the parent. Take this to your advantage to avoid extra costs.  Or, if you simply can’t afford a brand or product, find a related product that they would also enjoy, and do your best to convince them that this toy is satisfactory.  On the other hand, do your best to afford what they do want. Scour online auctions sites and community forums for deals, coupons, deals on used items, gift exchanges, etc. You may find that you can surprise them after all.

2. Food
Some kids love fast foods restaurants. This can be frustrating if you do not have the cash. If you feel the need to treat your kids, look out for coupons in your area to be sure of good deals. Mostly, you will find that restaurants will have buy one meal and get another free deals, so that you can feed two kids for the cost of one. Moreover, you may get some restaurants that offer free meals for kids if the parent buys a meal. To cut costs in other ways, have everyone order water rather than soda. The cost of soda in a restaurant is very expensive. Also try to pick up food instead of dining in or delivering…you’ll save on tips and fees.

3. Be Resourceful
The internet is a resource that needs to be used properly if you really want to make a difference. Online searches can reveal a lot of discounts for you and your kids. Moreover, online dealers are usually cheaper than dealing with other shops. There are amazing offers online for kids’ clothing and other items that are normally out of this world. Most of the online dealers will also ship the goods to you for free (though you need to make sure this is actually free, and that there aren’t hidden fees to make the deal seem sweeter than it really is). Make sure you take advantage of the internet to get the best deals to satisfy your kid’s desires.

Caitlin Jones likes to write, cook and visit Dentalinsurance.net.

Grandparents are important in children’s lives, but the relationship between grandparents and the parents can sometimes be difficult. The best grandchild/grandparent relationships are those that are encouraged by the parent, who then steps back and lets them unfold. Of course, this is not always easy, especially if you don’t always agree with the things YOUR parents (the grandparents) are doing.

New parents may forget that their parents did do a good job of raising them, and thus, often have their own ideas and special knowledge that they bring to the table. If you can start to communicate about everyone’s roles prior to the baby being born, you are able to set the tone for positive interactions.

Grandparents are integral for many reasons, including: offering a safe place for grandchildren to be, especially when mom and dad are tired and need a respite; providing a sense of identity and family history; stability; helping with child care; and giving support and knowledge.

Despite their importance, though, it appears that conflicts arise around several key areas:

1) Expectations: Grandparents and parents all have their own expectations, and they may not be the same. New moms may expect grandma to come over every Thursday, when, in fact, that doesn’t really work. It’s important to discuss expectations and needs openly and honestly, so no conflict arises.

2) Communication breakdowns: Everyone comes to parenting with different ideas and needs. It’s very important to provide clear information with explanations (even with reading materials/websites) to grandparents so they can understand why you are making your parenting decisions.

3) Spoiling: In some ways, it is a grandparent’s prerogative (and job) to spoil your children. It is okay to put some limits on it, though, and ask for it in moderation. This may be a challenging talk to have, especially as a grandparent believes he/she is doing the “right” thing by over-indulging, however, it isn’t always great for the children. Be sure to speak your mind respectfully and ask to be the “gatekeeper” of the gifts. This is especially important if you feel that the grandparents are giving gifts that are not in line with you and your partner’s beliefs.

4) Differences of opinion: These differences may occur over a wide variety of topics, and can lead to increased conflict and feelings of being judged. Be sure to slow down and hear one another out, and then make decisions.

The conflicts are destined to happen, and everyone may feel as though they are not getting what they want. So what can parents do to bridge the generation gap and decrease some of these conflicts?

1) Pick your battles: The old saying: “Don’t sweat the small stuff” is especially important here. Decide what really matters and what things you feel you need to put your foot down on and what things are irrelevant and you can let slide. If you can do this, everyone wins.

2) Provide information: Some of the basic fundamentals of parenting are the same, and there have been many changes. Calmly and politely explain and discuss why you may be doing things as they are. Information can promote respect. Give information as you can that support your stance, as well.

3) Meet halfway: Take note of where you are willing to compromise. Again, if you can do this more often, everyone feels like they are being heard and getting what they want.

4) Hear them out: You don’t have to agree with everything your parents, the grandparents, say. You DO have to listen to what they are saying and decide what you want to do with the information. If you reject it outright, you may miss something important.

5) Stand your ground: If the grandparents are being unreasonable, in your opinion, point out (respectfully) that you child is doing well with the choices you are making thus far. This may not be taken well, but, at the end of the day, the limits and rules are yours to enforce and follow. Once everyone is calmer, sit down and discuss the situation and why things are as they are.

When all is said and done, the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is incredibly special and wonderful. It’s important to foster it in the best way you can, while still feeling that you are respected and your rules are enforced. If some rules are not, let it go. It can be a special situation that ONLY happens with grandma and grandpa, and that can be really wonderful.

© 2011 Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD, author of Princess Recovery: A How-To Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters

Author Bio
Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD, author of Princess Recovery: A How-To Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters, a child and adolescent psychologist, is a regular correspondent for The Early Show. She has also appeared on Fox News, The Today Show, and Headline News. Dr. Hartstein uses a variety of treatment approaches that promote strong self-awareness, distress tolerance, and acceptance. She lives in New York City.

For more information please visit http://www.drjen.com/, and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter.