Awakening the Femimommy Within

by Femimommy on May 19, 2012

rosie with babyIt’s been a year since I first started this blog in May 2011 and I’ve had a lot of struggles with my identity over it. I first started it because I was planning on having a baby and at the time I found very few resources for mothers who were over 35. Society shoves down our throats that it’s dangerous for women to have children in their late 30s or 40s and so I wanted to document my journey, find others on a similar journey, and provide accurate information and resources for women over 35 who choose to have a child.

At the time when I started the blog, I was 3 months away from the date that I wanted to get pregnant (i.e., September 2011). At the time I primarily identified myself as being a feminist and still couldn’t imagine myself as a mother. I was and still am wrapped up in my career and my identity as an independent woman. I slowly started to blog on Femimommy, hoping that it would awake some of my motherly feelings. When the date finally came around to get pregnant, I had a major panic attack about the possibility of losing my independence and I pushed my pregnancy date back another year.

Over the past year I haven’t really blogged here much. I have struggled with what to write on this blog, because I am not a mother yet and in a way I am not even interested in some of the motherhood topics that are out there are on so many blogs. It has been hard for me to blog here, because I still haven’t fully formed my identity as being a future mother.

The truth is that I am scared to death of having a child. I have grown to be so independent and I am afraid that another little human being is going to be totally dependent on me. As I write this, it does seem a bit selfish and as if I am over exaggerating so perhaps it is time to start documenting my pregnancy prep journey here so that I can finally kickstart my life into preparing to have a child (or children).

When I was growing up, I never imagined myself as having children. It’s not something that I ever thought about as a child. I was the product of a somewhat abusive mother and I vowed that I would never continue the cycle of abuse that has existed in my family for generations. I thought that I wouldn’t have children because in my early 20s I had quite a temper and my relationship was a bit tumultuous. However, I’m finally beginning to accept the fact that I definitely have changed and am going to be able to break the cycle.

It feels weird to blog here on Femimommy when I don’t have children yet and I am not even pregnant. But please just bear with me as I work to get my butt in gear and prepare for motherhood. I fully understand that motherhood and feminism are not mutually exclusive, I hear what so many feminists say about motherhood being a feminist act, but I’m still scared to death in a strange way. For some reason, I am scared of losing my identity as a feminist. I know that my fears are irrational, and that’s why I am committing to blogging here more often so that I can move forward on my journey to motherhood.

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Is there ever too young of an age for young girls to wear bikinis?? Inquiring minds want to know! I suppose that I never would have thought that it would bother me for my six year old niece to wear a bikini. But apparently it does.

On Saturday we went to the beach with friends and I took along my six year old niece. When we went to pick up friends, my niece informed me that she forgot to put on her bathing suit under her clothes. One of our friends loaned her daughter’s bathing suit for her to wear, which I later found out was a Juicy Couture bikini. At first it didn’t even bother me.

Perhaps it wasn’t the bikini so much, but the way that she acted when she wore it. She looked like she just felt oh so cute. She posed in picture after picture with her hand on her waist and her hip thrust to the side. Later when she walked in front of me I noticed that Juicy Couture was written on her butt. Seriously, is it really necessary for people to be looking at six year old girls’ butts?? I think the Juicy Couture label on the butt label is really what bothered me the most.

She’s not my child and I don’t have any children of my own. I’m questioning myself as to whether I am being a little too puritanical. I can’t even believe that I am bothered by this, because I have always been fairly open when it comes to issues about the body. My boyfriend tells me that I am overreacting, that I’m just not used to having little girls running around and Juicy Couture is just a brand name. I can’t help but just feeling uneasy about it.

What are your thoughts? Is there too young of an age for girls to wear bikinis?

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Is Your Kid a Victim of Cyber Bullying? Stop it Right Now!

January 10, 2012

It’s not new to us that a lot of kids are being bullied using the internet. Even if the internet helps us with so many things, it can be very dangerous too. It can be a new platform to ruin one’s reputation, even if the rumors aren’t real one bit. Cyber bullying can cause a [...]

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How to Forge a Frugal Family

January 7, 2012

In the current economic climate, being frugal is a necessity for many parents. However, children know little about how money should be used. Like any other parent, it is imperative that you be open with your children about your financial situation. This does not mean that they need to miss out on most of everything [...]

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Parents vs. Grandparents: How to Find Balance

January 5, 2012

Grandparents are important in children’s lives, but the relationship between grandparents and the parents can sometimes be difficult. The best grandchild/grandparent relationships are those that are encouraged by the parent, who then steps back and lets them unfold. Of course, this is not always easy, especially if you don’t always agree with the things YOUR [...]

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Princess Recovery: Raising Empowered Girls

December 26, 2011

I’m really excited that today (on Christmas day, to be specific) I opened up my mailbox and found a new book sent to me to review for the blog. The book came just at the right moment, after endless weeks of griping on my part about the difficulty of raising empowered girls during the Christmas [...]

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Chasing Santa Claus

December 20, 2011

For years, I haven’t thought about Santa Claus. Having no children of my own, I’ve never had to even consider him for a moment. I don’t really have any childhood memories at all, really. Not until tonight when I heard Santa coming through town and all of my childhood memories of Santa became ignited. For [...]

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Does “The Giving Tree” Reinforce Sexism?

December 19, 2011

I’ve always loved Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, a children’s story about love, giving and sacrifice. Although the book is classified as a children’s book, it definitely applies to the feelings of an adult in a child-parent relationship. Wikipedia summarizes the book as follows: The Giving Tree is a tale about a relationship between a [...]

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Why Toddlers Don’t Eat Vegetables

December 16, 2011

Want to know why toddlers reject vegetables? Most parents inadvertently teach them to. No one does it deliberately, “Hey, we’ve got to stop this veggie-eating thing. It’s time to make sure Lucy loathes lima beans.” But most parents don’t actively help their children cultivate a taste for vegetables. In fact, they teach their kids to [...]

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Do Children Make Us Smoother Around the Edges?

December 4, 2011

Suddenly I am starting to feel like I am a much softer person. I am beginning to hear about that place of inner peace that I have long heard about but have never experienced. I am much more empathetic and patient. And, dare I even say…nurturing. Who would have thunketh!! I’m not sure if this [...]

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